Being afraid of doing the hard tasks
The more I want something, the less time I put into it.
This thought is counter-intuitive. Normally, you would expect that the more you want something, the more time, energy and sweet you put into it. However, I view this thought as:
being afraid of failure.
What are you afraid of?
We are all afraid of things. Being afraid of spiders that crawl under your bed. Afraid of smelling bad before a date. Forgetting to bring a pencil to an exam.
Our brain over exaggerates the negative possibilities that could happen to you, and you accept it. As a result, you change your behaviour to eliminate that bad thing from happening to you. However, it keeps coming back, and now there are less methods to get rid of it.
For me, I feel I have gotten to that threshold. The threshold where I pushed the negative thought away so many times, now its resistant to my pushes and stand firm, resulting in me shivving in fear and crawling under my blanks for comfort.
The pain is feels real, but the actions you take from your pain is real
For example, I want to be a better writer, so I bought a book on Grammar Fundamentals. I am having a hard time reading the book, as when I start I stop shortly after. I stop because I feel I am not 100% focused on the material and as its knowledge that I value, I want to be 100% focused on it. Ironically, I am almost never at 100%, so I am setting myself up for failure. Haha.
Conclusion
Failure is a part of all our lives. We experience it daily and everyone experiences failures to different extents. There is no right or wrong way to deal with failure. But, failure MUST be dealt with.
The next time you face failure, express your thoughts and emotions about it on paper. Afterwards, see if the next time you face failure, you have a little more confidence in face it.
